Autotechnica

This short article first showed up on VICE Asia.

There is certainly Tinder. Then there clearly was Tinder only for Muslims. It’s called Minder—and in accordance with its site, it is the spot “for awesome Muslims to meet up with.” We don’t particularly think about ourselves as awesome, and something of us is not also Muslim. However it didn’t stop three staffers at the VICE Asia workplace from offering it a spin for 30 days.

Here’s exactly how our lives that are dating during the period of per month.

Maroosha Muzaffar: in most my dating life I’ve never had a Muslim boyfriend. The operating joke among my buddies is the fact that i’ve never ever seen a circumcised penis. But that apart, my mother frequently reminds me personally that marrying a non-Muslim would bring laanat (damnation, spoil) to your family members. The dilemma is mind-boggling. The search together with saga carry on.

Therefore whenever certainly one of my peers, Parthshri, discovered Minder,“the accepted location for Muslims to meet”—think Tinder for Muslims—we jumped. Finally, we thought, i could bring house a Muslim guy to my mom. wet’s this that I experienced been waiting around for.

We registered regarding the software with all the easiest of bios and an image. A couple of hours later on, we received a congratulatory message from Minder. Right here had been a Muslim, halal dating app and it suggested i really could now carry on to get the momin (true believer) of my ambitions.

Listed below are my key takeaways from a month on being on Minder:

1. Flirting is extremely Islamic. Really halal. It is really not overt. But covert. “You may be my muazzin (one who summons faithful to prayer), i’ll be your imam (individual who leads the prayer),” said one’s bio.

Image: Maroosha Muzaffar

2. It asked me personally just what taste of Muslim I became. Yeah, we did a double take too. Taste? The application wished to understand if I was Sunni or a Shia. We said, “Just Muslim” and managed to move on. Just as if distinguishing myself as Muslim had not been sufficient. 3. There is no dearth of matches. And you know how guys start a chat if you’ve been on Tinder. It generally goes such as this: “Hey.” “Hi.” “Hi.” “Hey.” “Hey.” “Wussup.” “Hi.” In the event that you thought Minder will be any various, you’re incorrect. Proof below:

Image: Maroosha Muzaffar

4. Individuals bios were interesting. Islam ended up being every-where, gushing down like hot lava from every person’s profile. We saw a helping of some verse that is quranic, some Hadith (sayings of Prophet Muhammad) there. Somebody had been earnestly “Looking for a Khadija in a global world of Kardashians.” 5. The Muslim pool that is dating tiny. I obtained more matches from Mumbai and Bengaluru than Delhi. The pool is indeed tiny that we matched with my colleague whom sits right next to me personally in workplace. Their opening line: “Your eyes are like streams of jannah (paradise).” 6. The conversations fizzled out sooner than I experienced anticipated. We don’t blame the men. I became busy fulfilling my due dates, even though the man I experienced tried my most difficult with most likely matched using the girl of their aspirations and managed to move on. Bonus point 7. i did son’t get any cock photos.

Zeyad Masroor Khan: “I am a momin shopping for a muslimah (Muslim girl),” we had written back at my Minder profile once I made the account. With my spiritual meter set for ‘somewhat practicing,’ I became prepared for my search for love, swiping directly on girls from Hyderabad, Mumbai, and Delhi. Into the “short greeting” area We typed “Looking for halal (pious) love.”

The folks had been completely different from your own regular relationship software. The bio that is standard of girls just look over “Assalamu alaikum (may comfort and mercy of Allah be upon you).” But there have been exceptions. A 25-year-old physician had been “seeking a physician for wedding,” and a Mumbai woman advertised to “make cash with equal ease.” Placing apart my ideological, issues, and choices, used to do what many males do on a dating app—we swiped close to every profile.

Image: Zeyad Masroor Khan

The very first match took spot within hours. Let’s call her Zehra*. A lovely lawyer from Bangalore, she ended up being looking “a well-educated, decent person that can balance deen aur duniya (faith additionally the globe).” This is finally the opportunity to utilize my pick-up line. “You seem like a hoori (angel) from Alpha Centauri.” We waited with bated breathing on her behalf reaction. “Thanks,” https://hookupdates.net/bondage-com-review/ she said. My game ended up being working. We chatted. She thought Minder had been a waste of the time, but nonetheless well worth a go. We dropped in love for on a daily basis.

The 2nd match ended up being a 24-year-old from Jaipur. We utilized my pick-up that is second line. “Your eyes are just like streams of jannah.” There clearly was a “lol” response and she blocked me right after. The next ended up being a lady from my mater Jamia Millia that is alma Islamia. Worries of culture and perhaps judgemental buddies forced me to unmatch together with her. The past had been my colleague Maroosha, who had been type adequate to swipe close to me personally. We laughed about any of it for several days.

Image: Zeyad Masroor Khan

Last but not least, we failed miserably at Minder. Zehra’s insistence that “Allah could be the most readily useful planner” has stalled our potential date. I really hope she discovers a dentist that is religious marries him.

Parthshri Arora: As a app that is dating, we ended up beingn’t afraid about joining Minder—just nervously excited. I’d never ever undergone the emotional gauntlet of choosing images, changing images, repairing the sentence structure during my bio, changing images once again, etc. But we installed the software and opted, with a high hopes during my heart and wedding bells in my own ears.

My bio read, “Religiously and actually extremely flexible,” which I had been thinking ended up being funny, and my photos had been solid sevens. We also set the religious that is“How you?” meter to “Not religious.” We felt prepared: i needed to consume biryani at Eid, get invited for iftar parties, also to put it to my conservative Hindu daddy. I needed to swipe, match, and marry.

Image: Parthshri Arora

A later, my app drawer is a boulevard of broken dreams, as not one person has swiped right on me month. Not merely one. #KyaItnaBuraHoonMaiMaa

My peers, Zeyad and Maroosha insisted that Minder had been an ultra-conservative area, and that the bio should’ve simply stated “Introvert but willing to transform.” Putting my faith in mankind, we went because of the most useful variation of myself, but strangers regarding the Internet shat on said variation.

Am We super ugly? Can I have put ‘Physically’ before ‘Religiously’ in my own bio? Is my title super long to be swiped? Is it just how everyone else on dating apps feel? Has my self-esteem not recovered from my final breakup when I had thought it had? Am I going to ever find love? We don’t understand.

The answer that is easy relating to my colleagues, is that I’m simply not suitable for the software, which, along with the possible lack of users in Asia (Maroosha’s bio appears over repeatedly), is a ready-made cocktail of heartbreak and discomfort.