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I’m 49, divorced plus in brand new relationship (8 months) Progressing nicely and he’s lovely but We suffer with extreme relationship anxiety which can be really getting even worse longer I’m seeing him. Terrified from it no longer working down, have problems with low self-confidence and a large section of me seems it will be easier merely to end things now to stop myself getting harmed. The main problem is we reside over an hour or so or so aside so weekends have to be prepared and spontaneous social gatherings maybe maybe not feasible. We have a great time but he finds it impossible to sleep in the same bed as me (he claims he gets restless legs) so we end up sleeping apart and I miss the closeness and can’t sleep for worrying when we are together. By the right time we’ve invested two nights together I’m utterly exhausted and invested and feel really down between visits. We now have discussed residing together however in a “couple of years” and we really don’t understand how I’ll cope with the interim period. We both have demanding jobs and older children at home so lots to the office around. We can’t help experiencing that i ought to be feeling less anxious at this point however the stress is all consuming and I’m miserable for a lot of the time I’m maybe not with him. I understand this really isn’t a attractive quality but We can’t appear to shake it well.

In the event that anxiety of stress is causing you to be exhausted after spending some time together, i am struggling to see any delighted future for you tbh.

I am only a little unsure concerning the restless feet thing. I’ve this on occasion, but it would be said by me gets the possible to bother DH a lot more than me personally. I am wondering if you’re subtly being held at supply’s size right right here? In which particular case, that is why you feel a bit ‘off’ about this.

we now have talked in bed with me (or to be more accurate has happened with anyone other than his wife about it and he says there’s nothing wrong but has also observed this is a phenomenon that only happens when he’s . divided 36 months ago) He’s got a more protected accessory design than me personally and evidently does not really contemplate it an issue. And, yes. the worry is crippling but i understand much is always to do with my own history/past as opposed to what he’s doing. He’s generally attentive, type, communicative, thoughtful. if just a little detached. I’ve told him just a little about exactly just how I’m feeling and then he did react well but if We told him the entire truth he’d think I’m definitely mental and I’m worried about finding as too needy.

He’s notably detached and you also appear to have an attachment style that is anxious. Regrettably those two designs try not to work nicely together because you will constantly question or worry or read into their words/actions and think it means he’s losing interest or otherwise not as committed.

He’s significantly detached and you also appear to have an anxious accessory design. Regrettably those two designs usually do not work very well together it means he’s losing interest or not as committed as you will always question or worry or read into his words/actions and think.

This. Often a couple may be great and lovely simply not suitable. It is rubbish but it is a known fact of life I’m afraid. This mixture of accessory requirements is generally a recipe for anxiety and stress.

I do not think the sleep thing means such a thing apart from he really wants to sleep. Possibly it is a courteous reason because he does not desire to inform you you snore or go way too much. Some individuals are extremely sleepers that are light.

As opposed to worrying all about whether or firstmet perhaps not the relationship can perhaps work, give attention to doing things on your own – workout, classes on the web, self enhancement. Discover something good to spotlight as soon as he is to you, simply have some fun and relish the time.

Christ this won’t seem like a huge barrel of laughs does it?

No clue in regards to the legs that are restless – maybe simply simply take that at face value.

You state you have been together 8 months – therefore all through lockdown? I would personallyn’t be referring to residing together as of this time .. this relationship appears to be causing you more anxiety than maybe perhaps not – you certainly do not need me personally to let you know that after a relationship is right, there is none of the hand wringing and angst

You’ll want to end it as you say – you’ll push him away in the end anyway if you carry on if you truly feel as bad. Or provide your self some form of breakdown. It may become more sensible to focus on the home and children and get your self to a far better destination mentally before considering dating

That you do not feel safe in this relationship and that is adequate to get rid of it. Is it possible to see your self holding in similar to this for the next year or two? If you do not dial right back the thoughts and simply see this as one thing fun/casual?